Every new path you take, choice you make, girl you date, will come to an end. And there are many painful ends in your life. And there will be many more to come. Nothing will completely mitigate suffering in your life, but we can understand parts of it. Understanding our own minds provides us the ability to move forward quicker, and stronger than we were before. The saying “What doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger.” is only true if you learn from your actions.
So what is it then, that causes our sense of love?
You could walk through any crowd and have your eyes gloss over the majority of passer-byes. These people to you are no more important than any other stranger you come across. There may be some attractive girl that caught your attention, but to you, she is unimportant. There are hundreds of thousands of girls more attractive than her, more interesting, better in every way imaginable. And to her? You are nothing more than a guy who is just like a hundred thousand other guys. She has no need of you. And you have no need of her.
The hand you hold walking through this crowd is your girlfriends’. To the crowd she is nothing of importance, to the crowd there are many like her. But not to you, to you, she has innate qualities that make her special.
It is not her looks, no matter how beautiful she is.
It is not her personality, no matter how interesting she is.
So what is this is the secret that gives importance to someone that to strangers has none?
It is the time you have spent for your girl that makes her so important.
When you first met her, she was nothing to you. No value other than her attraction. She was a girl of a hundred thousand other girls. But you have made her yours, and now he is unique in all the world. Other girls are beautiful, but they are empty. An ordinary passer-by may think that your girlfriend was unimportant, but she in herself alone is more important than all the hundreds of other girls: because it is she that you have invested in. It is she that you have put your time, your affection in. You have shaped her to your liking. It is she that you have listened to, when she complained, or boasted, or even when she was silent. Because she is yours.
Men have forgotten this truth.
You become responsible, forever, for what you have raised. You are responsible for your girl.
And when the time comes, that it is the end of the relationship. There is pain. There is pain in seeing what you have raised move on. Seeing what you have raised become a belonging of another man. It is not unlike the pain of a father, relinquishing the hand of his daughter. You feel for the time lost, for that is what you put in. Love is not what attracted you in the first place, the feelings that you consider love are chemicals induced by the concept of time invested, of what you have created.
But in the end it has done you good, you now understand what makes someone unique. And you can grow to raise again.